


There Was A Fourth Wall Here Somewhere

by donutsweeper



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Fourth Wall, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-20
Updated: 2011-11-20
Packaged: 2017-10-26 08:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsweeper/pseuds/donutsweeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny has had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Was A Fourth Wall Here Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hllangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hllangel/gifts).



Horribly outnumbered by a horde drug smuggling neo-Nazi terrorists, Danny and Steve, trying to avoid the incoming hail of bullets, ducked behind the only cover available, Danny's beloved Camero.

"I should have listened to you, Danny, we should never have gone in without back up. We're never going to get out of here alive. But I can't die without... Without telling you..." Steve looked at Danny though his incredibly long lashes and then reached out, rubbing his thumb over a streak of dirt on Danny's cheek. "I love you Danno. I always have, from the moment I met you. Make love to me, Danno. If this is going to be our last moments on earth, let's spend them lost in each other's arms."

"What? No. Seriously. No. Not going to happen." Danny threw down his gun and stood up. "Who writes this crap? Hordes of terrorists? And not just any terrorists, but drug smuggling ones who just happen, _happen_ to also be neo-Nazis? And there's a hail of bullets? What's romantic about dying in a hail of bullets? Especially one that takes out my car, which is a nice car and I like my car a lot but it is no way a _beloved_ car, because, please, have some standards people. And your incredibly long lashes? Eyelashes? How the hell are you looking at me though 'your incredibly long lashes'? Eyelashes are above and below the eye, how can you look through them?"

"Danno-"

"No, no, enough of this crap. I'm tired of it. If people want us to fuck like bunnies, then let's fuck like bunnies. But we're guys. You're a SEAL, I'm a cop, we don't need any of this 'We're about to die so let's declare our love for each other' crap. No one does that. And then there's the sex itself. Here? Really? In a parking lot? Why not a bed? Beds are good places for sex, or maybe the beach if you insist on having it somewhere different- and that's a big maybe by the way- but you know what's not a good place for sex? ANYWHERE ELSE! Pavement is rough and heats up to like a thousand degrees. Do I look like a person who'd want my boys touching something that's a thousand degrees? No, of course not. So, enough of this crap. You! Behind the keyboard! Delete this crap and write in a nice soft bed, okay? How's that sound, Steve? Steve? Uh, Steven? You okay babe?"


End file.
